Tag Archive | Parenting

Same Wavelengths

Just a funny double coincidence today.  My son has had some issues at school, and we needed to go in and talk with a few of the teachers.  My husband had more time than I did, so he took care of it.  I remembered I forgot to remind him someone else he needed to talk to, so I started a text to remind him.  Before I finished the text, hubby had sent me a text about the same person!  An hour later he still was not home so I decided to call and see if everything was okay.  As I was dialing I received an incoming call from my hubby telling me that everything was taken care of.  Once is a coincidence, twice . . . I think we were on the same wavelength!

Ditching

Two weeks ago we had a sick kid, and instead of trading off which parent went to church and which parent stayed home I volunteered to stay home the entire time.  Despite some minor objections from my husband, I stayed home the whole time.  I kind of felt like I was “ditching” church, but did it anyway.  This week my daughter had a relapse and ended up home in bed again.  This week, however, husband stayed home the entire time – a really good idea since I was performing first hour and teaching last hour!

 

Prayer

Last week I was helping out with a volunteer group.  I was in charge of a large activity.  I felt to take some time that morning that I could know how to focus my time and efforts to make the most of my work there.  I didn’t even really know what I was praying for specifically, so my prayer sort of rambled and sounded like, “whatever it is I am supposed to be praying for help with I hope you know already better than I do cuz I have no idea what I’m praying for.”  A few hours later I was delivering permission slips to the parents and felt to step in and visit with one of the families I had not talked to for a while.  The conversation was kind of skirting around some potentially stressful family situations, but I felt directly impressed to share a personal struggle that our family had gone through a few years earlier.  It turns out that was the exact thing that they were dealing with, and by sharing my story I was able to offer some hope and insight about how to deal with everything.  It had nothing to do with the activity, except that was where the contact came in.  I’m glad that Heavenly Father knew what I was praying for help for even if I didn’t.

 

20/20

My pre-teen is being difficult.  No surprise there.  The big surprise is when my 18 year old insight-fully asked if he had acted the same way at that age.  When I responded in the affirmative he genuinely apologized.  He said the words “I’m sorry” and everything.  I thought the sky was going to fall at any moment.

Peace

I’ve been getting a little behind on my posts, not because I have not seen miracles around me, but because I’m not sure how to share them.  Some of them are too personal, some of them are simply in the ability to see things shaping up for the future, and seeing God’s hand preparing a way for both myself and others.  They are there, even when I don’t mention them.

A share for today:  We have been struggling with a difficult child situation.  By keeping my mind on my Savior it has been tolerable.  I still do not like the situation, I still feel like crying very frequently, but I have peace.  I feel like the child I have known has been taken away from me for a while, and that is more than I can deal with alone.

In his mercy, the Lord has opened an unexpected door.  One of my boy’s old friends from school (my son does not want friends anymore – his choice) is in a situation that he needs a little parenting.  He also is recently graduated and needing some encouragement and guidance moving on in life.  He has parents, but both are disabled and limited in their availability.  It is not a replacement for my son, but he is needing the same type of help I wish I could offer my boy, and it is very comforting for me to be able to help someone out in the way I should have been helping my son right now.  Unexpected comfort.

Near Misses

As a parent, I sometimes wonder how often our children are preserved from harm without our even realizing or acknowledging it.

Yesterday my 5 year old swallowed a hard candy and actually started choking on it.  I must admit I panicked a little bit as he had his hands up near his throat, started jerking, and I heard a faint “I’m choking.”  I knew enough to understand that if he could say anything he wasn’t completely out of air, but I also knew that this kid wouldn’t whisper the word “choking” just for fun.  I didn’t want to use any drastic measures if he could still get some air in, but he had a look of sheer terror on his face and was definitely having some difficulty breathing.  Fortunately his gag reflex was alive and well and he also looked like he was trying to throw up.  I brought him over to the sink and told him to go ahead and try to throw up.  He started to turn pale, then suddenly out popped a life saver candy he had stolen from his sister.  Thank goodness for gag reflexes!  I suspect that for a while he was only breathing through the hole in the middle of the candy, which was also a blessing.  First thing he said is “I won’t do that again!”

I was a little extra on edge because I had just heard about a local 10 year old who had a peanut allergy, and had accidentally eaten something with peanut oil in it.  The parents had to make the decision to take him off of life support and he had not made it.  One day he was running in the local track meet, the next day he was gone.  It can be that quick.  I’m so glad it was not my turn to go through that.

 

“Blessed” Birthday

 

My youngest has his birthday in a few days.  Being a January birthday I never quite know what to get him.  I had put off getting presents until I could decide what to get.  This year it was easier than that.  Yesterday a neighbor handed us a brand new bike they couldn’t use, and this morning the preschool gave goodie bags to all the parents with some really cool learning toys.  Wrap things up and call it good.

 

I was going to call this his lucky birthday, but my husband always corrects it when I use the word “lucky.”  He prefers the word “blessed.”  Either way, I love it when things work out.

Happy Birthday

And the Greatest of these is LOVE

Found myself praying for some much needed wisdom today.  Felt blessed that my prayer was answered so quickly, so I thought I’d share the answer I needed to hear.

Use LOVE.  LOVE is not a default position.  LOVE is not simply something we do because we don’t know what else we can do.  LOVE is our Father in Heaven’s greatest tool in dealing with us.  Christ made no bones that LOVE is the substance of both the greatest and second greatest commandments.  The word LOVE has multiple definitions and connotations, but the most powerful type of LOVE is not simply a feeling, it is an action verb that describes an intangible power.  LOVE literally creates entire civilizations, and the absence of it destroys them.  LOVE speaks to hearts, not to minds.  No teaching, lecturing, or information has any value if there is not LOVE attached to it.  Yet, even the smallest piece of knowledge, shared with LOVE, can change the future.

I was also reminded of a quote I heard somewhere that it is not so much that love is blind, but that love has the ability to see something in another person that others have missed.

Time

Lots of tender mercies this weekend, lots of family.

One of the daily miracles I don’t often thank God for, is time.  There never seems to be enough.  Just made arrangements to add 3 extra days to my year!  Okay, there aren’t really 3 more days in my year than yours, but 3 days of no work for me, limited work for my husband, and no children to take care of (my full time 24/7 job) for 3 entire days is the best gift I could possibly get for my birthday.  Thanks Mom!

What will I do with 3 entire days — absolutely no outside commitments?  Finish a 20 year project, put it online, thousands of dollars of home improvement (without 5 kids slowing me down)  — re-paint the entire house, finish rebuilding the fence, and even put in some new carpet.  Already lining up help to come work on the kitchen for stuff I can’t do.  If the tax return comes by then I have a few more projects I’ll hire out also.  Finish the honey-do’s?  Maybe if I’m good we’ll sneak a date night in as well. 🙂  Then a 4th day goofing off in Vegas.  (Did I mention I have a problem with extreme optimism?)

What would you do with 3 extra days?

Teenage Boys

I love the man in my life.  I love the fact that he is very different from me.  When I was 17 years old, however, I thought the boys were incredibly immature, arrogant, reckless, and generally incomprehensible.  Now that I have a 17-year-old boy of my own I still think the same thing.  All I can say is that it was a good thing I didn’t know my husband at 17.

I do now have the privilege of seeing another side of teenage boys at the same time.  My work with the BSA and Cub Scouting program has helped me understand a little better their fun-loving side, and their absolute need for externally modeled and even imposed guidance and learning.  Last night we Skyped with my now 17-year-old male who is off at college, and “knows everything,” and absolutely does not need anything from his parents because he is so competent and ready to conquer the world (in his own mind of course.)  He just reminds me of everything I can’t tolerate in a males.

The amazing part is the opportunity to see the vulnerable part of the equation.  Not only did he want to talk for an hour and a half last night, but he wants to start checking in more often.  I know better than to accuse him of being homesick, but it is good to see that he still needs family at least a little.  I may never understand the gender completely, and I will never appreciate the “indestructible” mindset they have, but I can still love them anyway.  And despite his absolute knowledge of pretty much everything in the universe, he does know a lot of pretty cool stuff.

I do wonder sometimes how often Father sees us acting like a know-it-all teenager.  Horrific thought.  Maybe we can redeem ourselves a little by checking in more often.